Monday
So, today we got back from Morocco... and while it was a wonderful experience and I am glad that I had the opportunity to visit Marrakech, I am glad to be back in Sevilla. To be honest, though, I have not been having the best day today and almost wish that when I stepped off of the plane this afternoon I were back in CT instead :-/ Among my inability to sleep in on the day that I can, the confusion and delay of our flight, I also had to basically force myself to go to my Sevillana dance class only a couple hours after I got back to the apartment... when all I wanted to do was relax and wind down after the busy weekend. We paid for the 8 classes last Wednesday, so while I still would have had the opportunity to make up a missed class at some point, I was still nervous that I would somehow not be able to. So, when I finally got myself moving, I had to do so in a power walk/almost jog to the dance class, which is about a 45 minute walk from our apartment. When I finally got into the general area of the class, I called a friend to ask the directions. I walked slowly, carefully trying to look for the correct street signs without looking like a retarded tourist that doesn't know where they are going; a very hard thing to do since all the street signs in Spain are hidden behind trees and written on the actual buildings (it takes long enough to find where the actual street sign is!). I kept trying to find my way, and after finally finding the street that the class was on, I couldn't find the actual class. It had gotten so late, even with my leaving in enough time, that I decided to just walk the 45 minutes back to the apartment and make up the class (rather than only be there for half the time and have it count..)
Tuesday (last night when my computer wouldn't stop acting up)
I'm starting to get really fed up with my computer right now...so I'm writing by hand. I don't know why I'm feeling so homesick lately....I've been here over a month, but still--this is supoosed to be the BEST time of my life. Why am I feeling so anxious to get out of here? I love this city...and Europe is really cool! I'm just missing my friends and family and life back home like CRAZY.
I have been debating whether I can/will travel after the program is over May 14th and am still torn between the two decisions. One day I convince myself that this is the opportunity of a lifetime and I should spring on it now that I have the chance to travel practically wherever I want, virtually stress-free...But then I remember the countless things holding me back: I need to get home to get my foot in the door at work, I need to look for and lease an apartment for next year, I'm worried I don't have enough money to support myself for the whole month of traveling Germany, Switzerland and Italy with Randi, I'm stressed out about how I will be able to pack light enough for such a long trip and where I can keep my big suitcase during that time...I feel like I'm missing out on things back home :-/ I'M. So. Confused! When I list these reasons now, it sounds so stupid that these are the things that I'm worried about. There are probably relatively easy solutions to all of these "problems"...but wheneve I think of a new excuse for my quicker return home, I immediately turn to it as the answer that I'm looking for; today, for example, I realized I won't have enough of my medication to stay past the 15th of May or so.
I think that while I'm loving this new culture and new people and evertying around me, I still do not feel as comfortable as I would at home. I love that everything is so much more relaxed/easygoing here. I love that we automatically get some exercise from walking everywhere...even though it takes a little more time, it's almost a de-stresser in itself; to walk to/from places, you can clear your head. I will definitely miss that aspect of living in a city when I'm back in the U.S. I love that there's so many different things to do within the city (I just need to get myself to do more of them!).
On the other hand, I'm not always (more than not, though) fond of my roommates--especially Molly. She just acts like she thinks she's perfect or something... and is SO rude when something doesn't go her way or if you non-purposefully annoy her. I don't care if she's from Texas and thinks that she can do no wrong; that's very inaccurate. I thought that i was irritated easily lately....she definitely wins the prize. Sometimes I have the urge to be a bitch right back to her...but I usually try not to give in. She's not worth it! i don't know why I still try to hang out and make things better when nothing seems to change... at least not for long-term.
I am also getting fed up that no matter how much I love the food or how easy it goes down, my stomach/intestines don't agree. And I feel like I barely get any sleep...especially whenever I need it most. And my ears hurt so much from wearing my earplugs, but I can't afford to not wear them... because then I'll get even LESS sleep. And my aches feel like they're even worse...maybe I'm making that up, but I wish they would just go away.
Anyways, I wrote a few postcards today and and will send them out tomorrow morning (today, Wednesday)...maybe you will get one if you're lucky! :)
I will have to get back to this later on and will add a few more stories that will probably make you all laugh and remember the stupid things that I do sometimes. Also, I will have to finally get to writing about Morocco! Let me know if any of you want to skype soon! It's nice to see everyone's faces :-)
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